Donkey Kong arrested for child abuse

A quick gossip scoop for the day: Nintendo’s official The Cat Mario Show has confirmed that the underage primate Dixie Kong is, in fact, not the love interest of the young Diddy Kong.

In a shocking plot twist, Dixie Kong has been revealed to be Donkey Kong’s girlfriend. This probably means that, fortunately, Diddy Kong is not banging anyone at the time. Sadly, Donkey Kong has also been arrested immediately with charges of child abuse, which may cause our beloved ape to stick in prison for a while before we get to swing on vines or ride rhinos with again.

You can check the video by yourself here.

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Touhou is coming to Steam

You heard that right: the incredibly popular Touhou Project by ZUN seems to be on his way to Valve’s distribution service, Steam. ZUN tweeted the following:

“Big announcement here. We are planning to bring the series to the most popular world-wide digital distribution service.”

While Steam wasn’t really named, there seem to simply be no people who like EA’s Origin, making pretty clear that the most popular sort-of-franchise of really-japanese Shoot ‘Em Up is heading toward Valve’s digital service.

There is apparently no reason for ZUN to attach a photo of his dinner to the announcement tweet, but fans believe this is probably hinting to some obscure game-related content.

Gabe Newell worries about the state of anime games on Steam

Iconic managing director Gabe Newell has recently expressed his worries about the state of “anime games” on Valve’s very own digital distribution website Steam. “Gaben”, as affectionately named by the internet community, seem to believe that the number of games “made in Japan” on their website is growing at a fast pace, catching the interests of steam users way easily than any other genre.

Here is the most important bit from his interview:

“Personally, I’d like to see them all burn to hell. They are everywhere, popping out every time I refresh the pages, and people keep greenlighting them – I don’t even think that we are in control of them anymore. They keep selling and selling, building me an empire made of evil that sooner or later will explode and destroy all that we hold dear. There is no future for american games, there is no future for America. God save us all.”

GTA V on PC will run at stable 15 frames per second

Everyone is in line for the PC edition of the last entry in the Grand Theft Auto series, and Rockstar is making sure that the hype does not go wasted.

In the last announcement, the game company assured that GTA V will smoothly run at locked 15 frames per second – at least when the character is looking at the sky.

To some people who pointed out that, by comparison, most games on PC run at 60 fps, Rockstar replied:

“The human eye can’t see more than 30 fps anyway.”

Shinji Mikami begs for Jill Valentine nude mods

Shinji Mikami, the japanese game designer well know for his work in the past on the Resident Evil franchise, has taken over twitter to express his desire to see fans of the original Resident Evil title to work hard on modding the newly released PC port.

Due to Capcom’s policy, the game’s very own director was unable to include an unlockable “integral nude” for the popular character Jill Valentine. In a series of tweets, he explained that it would have made a “fitting extra” for finishing the game with the only help of the knife; and that he’s anxious to see modders “complete his work”.

Of course, the Resident Evil community was quick to reply to Mikami’s pleas and made several mods that allows Jill Valentine to run around in no outfit. You can check the video here.

Shinji Mikami also reassured the fans that the next Resident Evil title will at least feature integral nudity for Chris Redfield.

Miyamoto admits he still doesn’t have any idea about the next Star Fox game

According to the latest interview with the popular Famitsu magazine, the next, highly anticipated iteration of the Star Fox franchise for Wii U is around 0% development and legendary game designer Shigeru Miyamoto confessed that he has absolutely no idea “how he could make it”.

The game received a spurt of interest when, during a Nintendo Direct, Mr. Miyamoto unexpectedly announced that its release will precede Zelda Wii U. Surprisingly enough, Miyamoto remarked that his game is gonna come out before Aonuma’s, but at the moment he prefers not to think about it, since this way he feels more relaxed.

“But didn’t you say that the game was gonna come out before the next Zelda game?”

“Yes, absolutely [laughs].”

“And how are you gonna do that?”

“Working under serious time constraints has always forced myself and our team to come up with new ideas. The same thing happened in the past, for example during development of Wii Music. When thinking about a videogame, people don’t usually expect the chance of playing music, and neither did we. Who could know which possibilities we might include in Star Fox?  I’m thinking about rpg elements.”