Activision confesses to have physically killed Spyro

In what is no hyperbole to call a shocking revelation for the gaming community, Activision confessed that they have personally and physically killed the much-beloved dragon Spyro, main hero of the eponymous Spyro the Dragon series.

The crime was perpetuated after the Spyro The Dragon rights were passed from Sierra to Vivendi, from which Activision started producing the second reboot for the series under the request of Toys for Bob. Things have gone awry during a work-related visit by the beloved little dragon, ending with Spyro’s throat sliced open with a knife. Activision covered the murder and kept working on Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure, hiring a man to dress up in a Spyro costume and pretend that nothing happened.

Due to the character’s copyright belonging to Activision itself, the gaming colossus will not be legally persecuted for the crime of animal abuse, animal cruelty and mass murder. By the end of the lenghty Activision confession, the following statement was also released:

“When we saw what happened to Rayman after Rayman Raving Rabbits, we wondered: ‘What if murder WAS the best option?’ So we started working on children toys and called it a spin-off, and everyone actually let us do whatever we wanted. On a side note, this is partially due to a personal grudge against Tree Tops.”

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