A quick gossip scoop for the day: Nintendo’s official The Cat Mario Show has confirmed that the underage primate Dixie Kong is, in fact, not the love interest of the young Diddy Kong.
In a shocking plot twist, Dixie Kong has been revealed to be Donkey Kong’s girlfriend. This probably means that, fortunately, Diddy Kong is not banging anyone at the time. Sadly, Donkey Kong has also been arrested immediately with charges of child abuse, which may cause our beloved ape to stick in prison for a while before we get to swing on vines or ride rhinos with again.
You can check the video by yourself here.